I’ve been writing these vague statements about change on my Facebook including “I’m changing because I have to.” People have misread these statements, but their misread is understandable given my history of bending over backwards to please certain people. It’s been said that I try to hard to get people to like me.
This current of change I’m going through is quite personal and has nothing to do with specific people. I am trying to get into graduate school and I am quite shy and introverted to the point where I almost never spoke in any undergraduate course.
Really shy people who can’t bear to speak publicly have a shelf life of about five minutes in grad school because participation counts for at least 30% of the grade in seminar settings. Therefore, I had a choice to make: either give up on even attempting graduate school or confront the one thing that scares me more than anything else: public speaking.
There are days when its’ difficult…no matter how much some people may want change to be quicker, myself included, I can’t just go from super shy introverted person to captain of the debate team in a week. But with time and experience, I’ll be okay.